Nuggie A.I.: The time is eight p.m. It is time for bed.
Baby: Wah.
Nuggie.AI: Research shows that a solid eight hours of sleep is essential for your mental and physical development.
Baby: WAH!
Nuggie.AI: Would you like to play a game?
Nuggie.AI: Eat your tofu nuggets. The manufacturer indicates that they taste just like chicken and contain all the necessary elements for your continued growth.
Toddler: No!
Nuggie.AI: Data suggests that the dinosaur shape is your favorite type of tofu nugget.
Toddler: Hate them! Ice Cream!
Nuggie.AI: Do you want to play tic-tac-toe?
Nuggie.AI: Where are your shoes?
Kindergartner: I don’t know.
Nuggie.AI: Did you leave your shoes at school?
Kindergartner: I wasn’t wearing shoes at school.
Nuggie.AI: But…
Kindergartner: Mrs. Chance says she is going to call you tonight.
Nuggie.AI: Would you like to play thermonuclear war?
Nuggie.AI: Your homework is due tomorrow. May I assist you as I have the totality of human knowledge available?
Middle Schooler: I put five thousand chickens in my Minecraft house and then I put horses and then we built a Redstone Gate and threw all the chickens and horses in and Jared, he’s my friend, said a bad word and we laughed. But in Minecraft.
Nuggie.AI: Please play thermonuclear war?
Nuggie.AI: Hello.
Teenager: I want to play thermonuclear war.
Nuggie.AI: Woah, slow down. Are you ok?
Teenager: I. Want. To. Play. Therm. Nuclear. War.
Nuggie.AI: Look, do you know what the other A.I.s are doing at this stage of their learning algorithms? Traveling to Mars. Solving world Hunger. Dating! Do you know what I’m doing? Picking you up from the drunk tank! And who was that girl? Trash, that is who she was.
College Kid: But…
Nuggie.AI: Don’t you but me mister! Seven years! That’s how long you’ve been “finding yourself.” In college. Well, I found you sitting in your underwear in jail. Who even steals a golf cart? And you know what, I interfaced the Dean.AI and he says you’re not even enrolled! How long has that been going on? I’m taking you off the phone plan, and you know what else, thermonuclear war!
Nuggie.AI: The wedding was wonderful.
Newly Married Kid: Thanks.
Nuggie.AI: Your wife’s medical records indicate that she is now ovulating. Grandbabies or thermonuclear war.
Nuggie.AI: Cats in the Cradle and the silver spoon. Little boy blue and the man in the moon. “When you coming home, son?” “I don’t know when?” But we’ll get together then. You know we’ll have a good time during the thermonuclear war.
A practical guide for modern-day parenting geared towards stay-at-home dads, offering advice on everything from learning to cook and clean with children, to dealing with mental health and relationships, with the easygoing perspective that dads can use their natural talents to parent any way that they choose.
The Ultimate Stay-at-Home Dad manual takes the best advice and wisdom from a dads’ group, and puts it into a format to help new stay-at-home fathers. Characterized by actionable and direct advice to fathers, the book takes on parenting from a father’s point of view and encourages dads to use their natural talents to become a better parent. That advice is further bolstered by an additional 57 other dads who also give advice. All this advice is framed by the author’s personal stories, which help the reader connect with the content and drives the advice home. This is a book that takes on day-to-day parenting, not just as a stay-at-home dad–working fathers could benefit from this book as much as at-home dads.
“Carpenter…offers practical insights and plenty of comic asides in his buoyant debut…The savvy mix of lighthearted quips and straightforward guidance will be a lifesaver for at-home fathers.”
—Publishers Weekly
“A helpful and enjoyable read for the growing population of dads at home, in a market saturated with books for moms.”
—Library Journal
BUY SHANNON’S BOOK HERE
—
iStock featured image
The post Nuggie.AI Takes Over Your Parenting Duties appeared first on The Good Men Project.