The Busy Mom’s Guide to Time Management

I remember watching Hugh Grant play a man-child in the 2002 film About a Boy, and thinking, “now that’s a guy who knows how to map out his damn day.”

If you’re unfamiliar with the movie (and I mean, you should watch it anyway…) I’ll explain. In it, Hugh’s character, Will, narrates his view on keeping his day organized:

I find the key is to think of a day as units of time, each unit consisting of no more than thirty minutes. Full hours can be a little bit intimidating and most activities take about half an hour. Taking a bath: one unit, watching Countdown: one unit, web-based research: two units, exercising: three units, having my hair carefully disheveled: four units… — About a Boy, 2002

I bloody love that movie.

Anyway, he’s on to something there, despite not having to schedule in any real productivity as a rich man-child. Scheduling your day in units of time isn’t a new idea, as most of us have a schedule at work that operates the same way.

It’s also a really good call. Bravo, man-child.

But when you’re a stay-at-home-mom, or, as I like to call myself, a “domestic chief executive” who moonlights as an “offspring wrangler,” your day-to-day schedule includes considerably fewer zoom meetings and substantially more diaper changes (probably.)

And you really can’t schedule mom-life the same way you can a busy lawyer’s work day.

You can organize your day, however, in a similar fashion as our aforementioned man-child’s method. Obviously, scheduling your day as a mom can’t follow a strict schedule, apart from maybe naps and meals, but by applying some basic time management tips to your life, you can make it work.

The main thing, here, is that when you have kids, your “units of time” are a lot smaller, and a lot more random. Organizing as much of that chaos as you can is just a basic mom need.

(I realize I just inadvertently called myself a basic mom, but I literally can’t think of how to rearrange that sentence to make it make more sense, AND, it’s true. I’m a little basic. Sue me.)

Planning

Right off the bat, find some feasible way that works for you to plan out your days. Do not do what I did and buy a pretty planner complete with stickers and crap, only to write in it for like, a day, and then forget its existence entirely.

Unless day planners work for you. Mine does work, to be fair — currently it’s working wonders gathering dust on my bookshelf, looking pretty with its faux-gold coil binding.

It’s not helping me plan, however. I don’t know why.

I also don’t know why my fix works better, since it’s basically the same idea only in a different location. My fix is one of those “to-do” pads with a magnetic back, allowing me to stick it to the fridge for easy access. It has pages I can tear off (yeaaaah I know, not very eco friendly — working on it) and I write in my to-do stuff for the day.

It then sits irritatingly on my kitchen island until I’ve checked off all the things.

Why does this work and the planner doesn’t? I have no idea. The heart wants what it wants, I suppose.

You could also use your phone for this, if you’re tech savvy. Or if, unlike Yours Truly, you don’t swipe away every notification that pops up in irritation because it’s interrupting your awesome zombie-apoc audiobook.

The point is, find a way to track your tasks, day to day, and check those bad boys off.

Prioritize

Another common time management skill among professional types that is worth learning: making priorities a priority.

Some days, laundry is a priority, especially if you have a bedtime drooler or two. Other days, maybe getting the kids outside in the backyard is your priority, because if they sing the theme song for Paw Patrol one more time, you’re going to go put down every single plucky dog on that show.

Sometimes — actually, most of the time — this has to be done on the fly, and often boots a to-do item into next Tuesday, but that’s life with kids.

Today, for instance, I booked in a solid twenty minutes of yoga that I just couldn’t do, because my dog was giving me sad eyes, letting me know I hadn’t yet walked her today. Whoops! Sorry yoga.

Priorities.

Don’t worry — self care is a priority too. I’ll slip in that yoga somewhere.

Be Flexible

Golly I love a good segway — see how I had to be flexible with my priorities just then?

Being able to change up your “units of time” like that can be a game changer as a mom. I struggled — a lot — with that one as a new mom. I’m as rigid with my time as you can get.

Kids don’t care about your schedule, though. They care about you locating the blue toy truck they hid and have lost their minds crying about in the living room (it was in the fireplace, by the way) or those extra five minutes of snuggles at naptime that they suddenly beg to have.

I never turn down snuggles.

Finding time to make their lives everything a little kid’s life should be is a big part of being a mother. That’s what I signed up for, anyway.

Be Realistic

Ah. Goals. Gotta love ‘em.

I have goals, you know. I just have to put a few of them on hold for the next twenty years.

Okay I’m exaggerating — a little. Truthfully though, there are some things that I simply can’t realistically squeeze into my day, based on what I have prioritized as important.

For example: the gym. Honestly, I hate it there. It’s really hard work, everything is really heavy, it smells bad, and I’m surrounded by people who serve as a constant reminder of my complete ineptitude at things like lifting weights and living my life productively.

And yet, I’m a mom who has popped out two toddler-sized babies over about five years, and therefore I have some flabby parts that would benefit from some gym time.

But I have no time for the gym, and won’t for the foreseeable future. Thank God.

Before any health gurus get all up in my face here, I do think health is important and I do make time for it. I purposely walk to and from school for my daughter, which coincidentally kills two birds with one stone — not only am I moving my body, I am teaching her the importance of exercise.

I also do yoga in spurts throughout the day, and have been seeing some immense gains in that area. I’m good with that level of fitness, mommy pooch and all.

So yes, while the gym would be great for my physical health, I’d rather spend what limited time I have throughout the day not ever going there. Doing things that perhaps aren’t as high impact as, let’s say, spin class (I’m guessing; I have no idea how high or low impact that class is, or even what high impact itself is…I just hear buff people talking about it a lot) but I do move. I make time to move.

When managing your time, be realistic about what you can do, what you want to do, and what you should do (hate that word.) Whatever you do, though, don’t set totally inappropriate, insurmountable goals that will just lead to you feeling like a failure for not hitting them.

Multitask…but also, don’t…

Multitasking is an amazing skill. It’s one that so many people think they’ve got down, and they so don’t — they are just able to do two things really poorly and gain nothing from them.

Not exactly “winning.”

When I say multitask, I mean multitask two (or more) tasks on your checklist that don’t take much concentration.

For example, I enjoy listening to audiobooks. I don’t just sit on the couch and listen to my book or podcast, though, staring at a wall. No — I reserve my listening time for when I’ve got my upper body propped over the bathtub scrubbing the soap buildup from the taps, or when I’m walking the dog, or baking cookies, and so on.

I also try to call my mom a couple of times a week, so I try to time that when I’ve just dropped my oldest child at school and I’m about to take a long walk back to the house.

Two birds, one stone. Sometimes I can pelt down a whole flock this way.

(Weird flex, I know.)

Multitasking is not always the way to go, however. I wouldn’t recommend multitasking things like conversations with your husband while also reading a book, for instance. Or trying to manage two recipes at the same time.

I speak from experience — taking short cuts and trying to cram too much into your days just leads to marital arguments and burnt sugar cookies. No one likes those.

Know Your “Vert”

I’m not talking about the french word for “green.”

Maybe I made that term up, I dunno, but what I mean by knowing your “vert” is, quite simply, knowing whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert.

No, really, this is relevant. Hold on.

I am an introvert, which means many things but one of those many things is that I tend to need a certain amount of time to recharge my social and emotional batteries after seeing people. This can take a few hours. Maybe days.

Sometimes, it takes weeks.

I therefore choose to take part in social outings pretty sparingly and, due to that, I end up being super choosy about who I spend my time with — and how often. I have a small circle of extremely close friends, and scheduling time with them is usually pretty simple. They know that I don’t always choose to join them, and they know that sometimes it’s because I want to stay home in my cozy pj pants, sipping tea while petting my cats instead of talking to them.

Not everyone is okay with that. Also, not everyone is introverted.

Extroverts (I’m assuming) like to spend a lot of time with people because their batteries deplete when they’re alone. I totally don’t understand this, but I hear that it’s true.

An extrovert would likely book in way more social hooplas throughout their typical week than I would, whether they are parents or not. Come to think of it, I know of one such extrovert who barely slowed down at all, socially, after having her first kid.

I, on the other hand, very much need to go lie down just thinking about it.

So when you’re figuring out your day to day schedule, don’t stretch yourself too thin, socially, if you’re introverted. If you’re extroverted, make sure you’re getting your fill! Make sure you schedule yourself according to your social needs.

When in Doubt, Delegate!

Another typical time management tip. Delegation is important in the professional world — you need to lean on your fellow colleagues to stay afloat, sometimes.

The same is true for moms. I delegate all the time, sometimes to my husband, other times to my own kids (it builds character, or so I tell myself.) I only have two hands and sometimes, they’re mega full.

I think a lot of stay at home moms feel bad for passing on the load of work to their spouses because we’re supposed to take care of the home and babies — it’s in the job description! When I took on this position I knew that a large part of the role involved doing all the things, but sometimes, the toddler’s bum needs to be changed at the same time as a pancake needs flipping, and hey, it’s Saturday.

No parent gets the weekends off.

Thankfully my husband never got caught up in the idea of me doing the majority of the parenting, cooking, and cleaning, and takes on more than his fair share when he’s not at work. It’s also not uncommon for him to steal the kids away so that I can write a few paragraphs and get some non-mom work done.

So if you can, delegate.

Making the shift from full-time, busy working mom to full-time, busy stay at home mom was tougher than I thought. I incorrectly assumed that I’d have much more time during the day, because I thought I was fitting in all the work I do now into just a few hours a day when I was working.

As it happens, I wasn’t doing everything. Not even close.

Now, keeping up with the ever-growing mound of laundry, playdates, housework, family accounting, cooking, and school runs, I realize I was wrong about all the time I’d have.

I would be so very lost without a plan. It’s such kismet that I randomly rewatched that movie recently, because Will was right — a day is just a bunch of blocks of time. It’s how you use them that makes all the difference.

Thanks, fictional movie character!

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